


Stuck In Pain

by LemonNLime



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Pining, Slow Burn, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-21 16:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20696870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonNLime/pseuds/LemonNLime
Summary: After moving into the same apartment together for university, Ryuji finds it harder than ever to contain the secret he's been hiding since the final year of high school. Akira, who rooms with Ryuji seems to be stuck in a sort of limbo. Akira is still in some sort of mourning and regret over Akechi's death and he cannot tear his mind away and doesn't seem to acknowledge Ryuji's own panic.They both have to learn how to move forward and come to a solution so that both of them can live their lives peacefully.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This takes place after the events of the original game and does not include anything happening in Persona 5: Royal. I'll prob make a fanfic containing that information whenever it comes out though, lol. Anyways! Here is some mainly fluff cause idk how to write explicit stuff but I might branch out later. Also they're both 20 in this.

The transition between spring and summer was definitely one of the most uncomfortable changes in the all of the seasons. The intense japanese humidity definitely didn’t help the blonde man in not feeling stick and gross. Ryuji Sakamoto was sluggishly moving towards the direction of his shared apartment with Akira. His muscles were sore and his whole body felt absolutely disgusting and he couldn’t wait till he could hop in the shower and wash off all the of the mugginess of the day. But first… he must battle the stairs. It sometimes really did suck to live on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex with no elevator. But hey, it’s not like the apartment itself sucked. It was actually terrible. Living in a campus ‘apartment’ creates its own paradox that both of the boys were still trying to figure out how to balance despite it being their second year. The paradox being that horny college students will throw parties and get laid in the very thin walls of the apartment complex and… that everyone was stressed with classes and trying to study and having violent reactions to any sound that dares intrude in concentration.

After trudging up the apartment steps and digging for his keys in his shorts Ryuji fumbled around before unlocking the apartment door where he would announce his return to the other presence that lived there “I’m back!” no response. Ryuji went to investigate Akira’s room. Akira was studying Criminal Justice and he’d sometimes have to watch legal-related videos and would resort to using noise-cancelling headphones, as to not be drawn out of the drawl he was absorbed in. Ryuji never got the appeal that law had, but it made Akira passionate, and thats all he really needed to pursue it for a degree. Standing outside of his roommates door Ryuji gave it a loud 2 tap before he let his voice travel ‘Hey man, I’m back’ he then opened the door partially before glancing inside. His guess was right. Akira was having an intense staring contest with his bulky headphones. Ryuji stepped in front of him, he couldn’t see what Akira was watching but as soon as he came into Akira’s peripheral vision Akira snapped his eyes to look at the blonde man before him and he blinked away… sorrow? Before he gleamed a gently smile at this friend and closed his laptop.   
“Ah, welcome back Ryuji. Sorry, I was a bit preoccupied.” Akira explained as he moved his headphones down to rest down on his shoulders and began packing up the work that he had scattered on his bed. Another downside of living in this shithole? There wasn’t any real space for them to do their mountains of classwork. Well, more like Akira’s mountains of classwork.

“Don’t worry about it man, just wanted to make sure you were aware of presence before I slipped and crack my head open whenever I go take a bath.” Ryuji joked and Akira seemed to appreciate the sorta-self jab. 

“Oh don’t worry about that, I’m pretty sure my ‘Ryuji did something stupid’ would’ve gone off before you had severe brain damage.” Akira joked back and Ryuji felt a flare of emotion rise in his chest and his cheeks that exhilarated him. Trying to brush it off quickly Ryuji just turned his head and avoided eye contact with him as much as possible “I just wanted you to know I was home so we can move over to the living room. I’m gonna go take a shower because I feel absolutely disgusting.” Ryuji wiped the sweat off of his to show that he was in fact.

Akira chuckled “Your mom all settled in her new place?”. Ryuji’s face immediately lit up ever to slightly whenever talking about his mom, and even with the exasperation of the springish-summer weather beating his mood to a pulp Ryuji responded with gentle mirth “Ma is super excited, it’s a safer place than our last place. I have to visit her over the weekend to help her set up some things but other then that all of her boxes are moved in. She even decided to keep my old elementary school items! Can you believe that!”.

Akira chuckled gently, “I bet she is cherishing the memory of you before you decided to be a hooligan with those blonde locks.” Akira emphasizes the feature by gentle shaking his fingers into Ryuji’s hair. Ryuji kept on bleaching his hair even after they graduated, much to the chagrin of… well almost everybody. “Well guess what Mr.Kurusu!” Ryuji gently slapped his friends away from his head. “You’d be wrong! Ma says she has grown to love it!”. Despite his short temper there always seemed to be two things that never failed to bring him a smile. His ma and of course… the very boy in front of him.

“Ah I forgot, you still go to her for your monthly dyeing and bonding sessions.” Akira teased, though Ryuji knows that Akira doesn’t say this in a condescending way, as they’ve had almost philosophical type of discussions about their home life and Akira has expressed how endearing and jealous he is of Ryuji’s relationship with his mother. “I’m still sorry that I couldn’t have helped out in the process.” Akira quickly added in before Ryuji quickly did his typical dude-bro shrug and waved off the apology. 

“Don’t sweat it dude, Mishima seemed happy enough to get both attention and food as payment, so you’re all good Mister-Honor-Student.” Ryuji jabbed back gently and they both started to walk towards the tiny little main area of their apartment. The cramped apartment had the widest table that was propped in front of the TV. Akira set down the rest of his work on that said table and sat down on the pillow and turned on the television to a random show that the two have already seen before as a sort of white-noise.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower.” Ryuji mentions before heading to the back of the apartment and he just hears an affirming grunt from his roommate in acknowledgement. Stepping into the tiny bathroom, Ryuji turns on the shower and lets the water slowly heat up, he had to be quick because the showers in this complex were finicky and wouldn’t hesitate to straight up freeze an unsuspecting person with no mercy. Joys of living as a broke college student. It could be worse,though. The money that they made back in their Phantom Thieves day helped a ton with dorm costs and the team unanimously decided to split the money before officially moving on with their lives, however, Haru opted to just let her portion go to whatever expenses Morgana might have. That cat had very expensive sushi tastes afterall.

Ryuji quickly hopped into the shower once the water was at an acceptable temperature and immediately went to work, quickly shampooing and conditioning his hair before quickly hoping out as he felt that some sort of magical timer was set on the water as it was getting colder and colder as he lingered even though his time spent was already very short. Ryuji threw on some sweats and t-shirt after drying off and headed back towards the living room where Akira was still in depth looking at whatever boring drawl of law homework he was doing. 

Ryuji only went to university as a part-time student, opting to work full-time and slowly working towards his degree in Physical Education in the evenings. Yeah, he can be considered being ‘behind’ then others but it’s what worked best for him. There was no way he could sit through 4-5 classes a semester doing intense study-work like Akira and Makoto were. Plus it helped put a dent in the loans he was going to have to pay off whenever he finally graduates. This allowed Ryuji more free-time then Akira so Ryuji volunteered most of the time to cook for the two. His mother wouldn’t let him live off of the typical teenager diet in his third year of high school and really made an effort to teach Ryuji how to cook for himself and others. These sessions really helped calm down the stress Ryuji had during the time regarding his future, and now two years later Ryuji finds it something that he can destress to. He still can’t hold a candle to Akira’s amazing ability to make coffee. Though Akira always seems perfect.

Ryuji made use of their small kitchenette and whipped up some instant ramen. Look, we can’t all always have time to put effort into every meal, and after lifting boxes and being drained by the sun and still having anatomy to study for, Ryuji couldn’t make time for something extravagant today. He waited for the water to boil and decided to go and loom over Akira for a little bit. “ ‘Kira.” Ryuji draped his arms over his friend’s shoulders, who didn’t even blinch of think at the action and just simply let out a simple grunt of affirmation. “ how on earth do you sit through this drabble.” Ryuji looked over the class work that Akira had laid out and his notes. God the fucking notes. It all sort of just blended together and created something worse then any shadow that they’ve ever faced in the metaverse. And this one was worse because Ryuji couldn’t beat the ever living shit out of it. 

Akira laughed gently “I wonder that sometimes too, Ryuji.” Akira seemed so much more exhausted recently. Ryuji recalled the conversation that Makoto had with them a few months back about the upcoming semester. Being in the same degree program and being their senior, Makoto offered great insider information about the classes that Akira had to take very soon and he vaguely remembered her gestures of annoyance at the mention of whatever class was taking ahold of Akira’s current attention. Ryuji guessed that even for Makoto that that particular law class must’ve been a difficult drawl to go through.

Ryuji breathed in Akiras scent gently through his nose. Trying not to be too obvious Ryuji moved his head further away from his neck. Everytime Ryuji got tired he always accidently let his guard down a little bit more than he should. He prompted himself with the task of checking if the water has begun boiling as to distract himself any further from taking in Akira’s scent. Oh yeah the worst part about living in this apartment with him? Akira was just someone Ryuji longs for but cannot have at the same time. And those feelings tore at him in the most random of moment. Ryuji started at the water for a little longer before deciding ‘fuck it’ and putting the ramen into the pot as the water was doing the ‘slight bubbling but not quite boiling’ motion. As long as its soft in the end it should be fine. 

After the not so terrifying battle of seasoning and draining the ramen and making two seperate bowls, Ryuji brought over the dinner to his roommate. But Akira wasn’t taking note of the smell… much less actually looking at the work he was intending on doing. No. The sight that fell before Ryuji was that of the black mop of hair sleeping with his arm cushioning his head as a pillow. Ryuji felt a flurry of emotions rush through. Part of him felt like he shouldn’t be seeing this, one said take a photo, the other to pinch his cheeks, the other to kiss, JUST OH GOSH IT WAS TOO MUCH! Ryuji eventually grounded himself past his momentairly gay panic and swallowed his pride. Self-inflicted fear was always going to be the winning member in this particular argument. He set down the dishes and looked at the situation. He must’ve been more exhausted than he had let on. Ryuji studied Akira’s eyelashes for a moment, and just cleared his head of nothing but just the feeling of general admiration.

“You really are a great guy, you know that Akira?” Ryuji murmured softly to himself before moving in to pick the man from the ground and take him to bed. Ryuji had to transfer him to his room before, as Akira was a very lovey-dovey happy drunk who couldn’t hold his liquor perfectly. But this was the first time Ryuji was picking him up while he was sober. It almost felt… violating. But it was better for Akira to get a full rest in his bed then stay out and have a cold or crick in his next morning. Ryuji had been working on his upper body recently, if he was going to be a coach he was gonna have to show those kids how it was done, so Akira wasn’t heavy to him. Infact, it was easier to handle him now since he is sober and not a failing drunk. Ryuji let out a soft laugh at the image that he himself had to witness and suffer through. Taking gentle steps to his room Ryuji shimmed the door open with his elbow and entered the tiny room where the bed laid close by and he gently rested Akira onto it. Thankfully, Akira had moved the blanket away in his previous video viewing set up so there was an blanketed space to set him down in and move the blanket on top of him.  
After making sure that Akira was nice and snug Ryuji turned to move away before his poor heart thrummed out of his chest. As physically easy as it was to transfer him to his room and bed, it wasn’t doing much help to ease the ache of his heart and mind. He tried not to think too hard about every single motion that he did. But Ryuiji heard a soft murmur come from Akira and turned back slowly to make sure that Akira wasn’t calling for him or if something was wrong. And Ryuji felt even more conflicted than before and stepped a little closer to him out of worry. Since setting him down, Akira’s features had fallen out of their perfect ready-for-photo set and his face contorted in crinkles and worry. Was he having a nightmare?

“O… ro” Akira murmed. Now Ryuji was just confused as ever, was Sajiro torturing Akira in his sleep for sleeping when he was studying? Ryuji honestly wouldn’t put it past the old man. He focused a lot on them bettering themselves through education and he had an earful of advice from him concerning his future, especially after he brought up how he wanted to drop out his second year until he met Akira. Those were the days… so much had happened. Ryuji couldn’t help but just stare helplessly at the man whom he loved face. He wanted to ease and remove that crinkle from his brow but he simply didn’t know how. He continued to reminisce about the good times they had together back in high school and it slowly unnerved him and his mind was completely empty… and before he knew it. He was moving his body further closer to Akira’s face and pressed his lips gently to the created brow that Akira had created in distress. As soon as released what he had done, Ryuji jumped backwards quickly and honestly quite loudly. Thankfully that Akira seemed to have not woken up, Ryuiji wasted no time in rushing to his own room and having a good freak out.

He had ruined everything, how could he continue to live with Akira after this?! How could he have moved his body without realising what he was doing! Why did he do it?! Why wasn’t there some sort of almighty god to come down here and smite him out of existence. His cheeks and ears felt like they were on fire and he tried to resist the urge to scream and break down every wall in this shit-hole apartment. He opted to try and crawl out of the universe via suffocation by pillow and he kicked his feet and let out a muffled grunt of frustration and embarrassment over what he had done.

After wallowing in self-destruction for a good hour something popped up in Ryuji's mind. Oh shit, the ramen. He didn’t feel like eating anymore though, and he was so terrified of leaving his room in case some sort of karma being would be there to give him the punishment that he rightfully deserved… but it's also bad to leave food out. After having an internal debate for 4 minutes Ryuji decided to go be the responsible self-respecting man of society that his mama raised him to be and wrap the ramen bowls and put them in the fridge for dinner tomorrow. His eyes kept on going back Akira’s door,however, and his heart continued to ache… and ached. He was so afraid that one of these days that it was going to shatter and destroy him and his friendship.


	2. Work Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried lengthening the chapter! Hope it's okay. I head canon Ryuji as a sucker for kids. So... yea. Also it's 2 am so I apologize if the writing, especially near the end is a tad sloppy. I'm also just unsure how to write fluff.

…  
…  
…

Mondays suck ass. Ryuji woke up with every part of his body screaming at him and the heavy cloud of guilt and regret certainly didn’t help to ease up his sore muscles. It was as if his whole body and soul was revolting against him and when the snooze button finally gave up and Ryuji woke up due to pain… the existential dread of being late cancelled out all of the shit his body felt in that moment and propelled him forward off the bed and almost hit his head directly into the wall.

Moving at lightning speed Ryuji quickly checks the time on his phone. ‘7:35’ fuck! He had exactly 10 mins until he was suppose to be in for work. Mastering the ability to ‘look presentable enough to not get fired’ Ryuji threw on the clothes that were paired up closest together. The color palette definitely not reflecting his typical chaotic energy of reds, purples, and blacks. He tossed on a white tee and light-wash jeans and worn down tennis shoes and grabbing the light blue jacket his mother bought him a few years ago before busting out his room and going out the front door.

In his panic Akira exited his room, still in his attire from last night and rubbing his eye still in a partial sleepy slumber. Ah shit that was cute. Ryuji’s panic allowed him to confidently put aside last night’s incident that Akria may or may not have any recollection much less awareness about. “Sorry ‘Kira I couldn’t make breakfast! I slept in and I’m going to be late!” he settled with the half-ass apology as he grabbed his backpack and started sprinting down the metal stairs he may or may not have almost tripped over; not waiting for any response from his roommate. Ryuji had places to be and he was going to have his ass handed to him if he was late. 

Ryuji counted his blessings for the fact that the day-care was close by and he could simply just sprint to it in roughly 7 minutes, but he wasn’t counting on today's going to be anything but chipper. Mondays never are. But oh boy did Ryuji knew he was gonna get his ass handed to him FOR SURE when one of the kids spotted him running at full-speed to the same destination with his mother and began waving at him. “Good morning Mr. Sakamoto!” The kid’s grandmother focused her attention on Ryuji and the glare that befell her face so quickly it could probably set a record also sent a sharp piercing knife into Ryuji’s soul.

‘C’mon kid why do you have to expose me like this?’ The guardians in particular never cared for Ryuji. He was fantastic with dealing with the kiddos, but goodness if the hoards of angry mothers who cared WAY too much about Ryuji’s aesthetic didn’t threaten Ryuji’s work stability. It was almost an unfortunate paradox, but a paradox Ryuji was too stubborn to kowtow to. The kids were never judgmental about Ryuji’s bleached locks and were only ever curious about it and they were able to accept that and move on, however, the parents immediately saw him as someone unworthy of his job, despite there being worse day-care attendees with non-colored hair. Guess that was just the curse of adults and society.

“Heya kido and good morning to you Ms. Hisao! You two enjoying the weather that we’re having?” Ryuji caught up to them and returned the greeting and tried to pass it off as ‘hey I’m a charming quirky guy is clearly didn’t just get out of bed 5 minutes ago and is rushing full-speed towards my job that I am definitely not late for’ but alas Ms.Hisao scowl just sets further and further into her face and she turned her face up and openly sneered at Ryuji.

“Enjoying it more then I’m enjoying seeing someone whom I’m entrusting my grandson for several hours of the live-long day being clearly unkempt and late.” Wow, she really doesn’t pull any punches in the slightest. Ryuji didn’t really know what to say, technically he wasn’t late, as the earliest drop off time was 0800 but Ms.Hisao always brought her grandson before the drop-off date and there really isn’t anything the daycare can do then just let him in a few minutes before opening. Smartassing his way out of this would definitely get him even more shit so Ryuji simply decided that the best way to handle the grandmother bear was to just own up to it in the most respectful and deflective way he possibly could.

“Not to worry, ma’am! It won’t ever happen again, just had a situation happen at the apartment complex that couldn’t be avoided” Ryuji settled with the partial lie as he scratched behind his neck and offered the most charming smile he could, she was clearly unphased by this. But hey! She didn’t get angrier so that counted as some sort win in Ryuji’s book. There was absolutely no doubt in Ryuji’s mind that this lady was going to report him later. Thankfully, management here was going to be on his side, but he is going to get an earful for being ‘on-time’ the way he is. Ryuji gets down to the kid’s , Koji, level and patted his head quickly “I’ll see you in a few little man! Keep your grandma safe on your way there, ya hear me.” The enthusiastic 6 year old seem up to the task and he puffed his chest out proudly and nodded in affirmation, accepting his quest. Ryuji sprinted the rest of the way to the daycare, yes doing this in front of the old woman wasn’t going to look good for him, but there were things he was required to check before the dare-care would officially open its doors for the day. 

Huffing and puffing at the gates, Ryuji let himself catch his breath and try to smooth down his appearance to be at least somewhat presentable, so the manager wouldn’t boot his ass right away. Ryuji gulped down his fear and entered the facility “I’ve arrived.” he called and his manager, a sweet small lady in her mid-thirties named Kaiya rushed up to the poor and immediately pulled on his cheeks. Ryuji stepped back in shock but the little woman clung on for dear life and immediately went straight to scolding him. “You buffoon! I was so worried that you fell into a weird ditch when you didn’t show before 0730!” Ryuji struggled a bit more before giving up and slumping over as he tried to explain himself to his boss.

“Ow-ow! Boss! I’m sorry! I had an incident happen at the apartment! I promise I won’t worry you like this again!” the pulling of cheeks had ceased… until she tugged on both of his ears and chewed him out again “Don’t pull that with me young man! You clearly just rolled out of bed! I’ve been dealing with kids like you long enough to recognize the difference between emergency attire and slept-in attire!” Ryuji endured the tortue a bit longer before Manager ceased-fire.

“I’m sorry ma’am! I really am… but something did happen and I guess… it really messed up my sleep bad.” Ryuji confessed. Manager was a unique type of adult in Ryuji’s opinion. She radiated energy of a worried mom but also recognized that not everything has a logical A to B point and she merely sighed. “As long as it doesn’t happen too frequently Ryuji. Now go and check and make sure that the inventory is stocked.” She reached high and gave a gentle pat to Ryuji’s hair before moving to the front of the day-care, probably to tend to Koji and his grandma. And Ryuji set to work.

After herding the little gremlins and making sure they were all settled, lunchtime rolled around and Ryuji realized something very important. He forgot his lunch. Fuck. The only thing Ryuji could do is just sit there and suffer and not let his suffering show. Working out frequently meant that Ryuji had a general meal plan that he tended to stick to, and so his stomach isn’t used to his stomach not only missing breakfast and lunch, but also his lack of dinner the night before. This wasn’t going to be fun one bit. To add more salt to the hunger wound, Ryuji would have to wait until he got back to the apartment later that day because he had to head straight to a class. Mondays really did suck ass the most. In order to distract himself he decided to go out to the playground where a different play group was doing a game of tag. Ryuji offered to switch places with his co-worker if she wanted to take an early lunch, which she did.

Surveying the little goblins, Ryuji kept an eye on a variety of play groups that tended to split up based off of who lived near who versus popularity. A piercing scream shot through Ryuji’s ears and he flinched “Mr. Sakamoto!” looking into the direction of where the screaming child was dashing towards him. “Does your hair really go yellow when you pee on it?!” False alarm, kid just wanted to ask a question and there was no arson involved. Thank god.

“Oi, kid. Where did this question come from.” Ryuji wondered, he obviously would answer this kid straight, but he gotta make sure that the troublemaker who instigated this rumor would have to be set straight before any kids decided to try and take piss in their friend’s hair. Kids are weird.

The kid just gestured wildly “Yachi’s mom said that the blonde hair on you looks like pee! So we were wondering if that’s how you managed to get your hair that color! Are you really that nasty, Mr.Sakamoto?” The kid got up all in his face and Ryuji was repressing an internal scream of ‘what the fuck’ and he gently pushed the further from his face. “Personal space first, bud.” The kid complied and took a few steps back before waiting for an answer to his most riveting of questions.

Kids were fun. Stupid sometimes, but Ryuji can relate to them easily, though the uneasiness that this rumor started to due some parent having their child listen to whatever anger and nonsense that they have within themselves. Cause that always ends in a good child who will never be judgemental about anyone based solely off of appearances. Yup, definitely chill. Ryuji took a deep sigh before giving a straightforward answer.

“Kid, do I smell like pee to you?” the kid took a big sniff near him before shaking his head “So I don’t do what you’ve heard. Can you tell me what its called when people color their hair?” Ryuji did what his ma did for him whenever he was a kid, instead of telling the kid straight up the answer, you’d usually lead them to it with the knowledge they had so they can connect the dots, and if they really don’t have a clue then just simply expand their knowledge by giving the correct answer. 

The kid sat on his question for a moments before the word popped back up in his head “Dyeing!” and Ryuji gave him a giant thumbs up before doing a loud “Correcto kiddo! That’s what I do with my hair.” The kid’s eyes light up in understanding and finally making sense of everything and nodded. “Doesn’t that make more sense then peeing in hair?” and the kid nods three more times very enthusiastically.

Now that that was all settled the kid ran off before returning with his posse and a few other kids, so almost half of the playground gremlins were surrounding him. “What is it now, kid?” Ryuji asked, usually kids ganged up around you when they wanted you to play, so Ryuji was fully expecting what the kid was about to ask.

“Can you play tag with us!” the kids shouted in unison, the force almost enough to push Ryuji back to fall flat on his ass, thankfully he was able to right himself properly before doing so and breathed. 

“Can you ask again, but more politely this time please?” Ryuji used his words softly, don’t get agitated, don’t get agitated. Over the years, Ryuji really has learned how best to keep his hot tempered attitude to become much more mellowed out. Either he was aging at a rapid rate for a 20 year old or he has grown as a person. Since it was considered a good thing if you wanted to punch yourself for the person you were in high school, Ryuji would say that his personality and temper have definitely improved since then, much more than he can say for some of his other peers that he had to deal with in university.

The main leader of the gaggle of garden gremlins breathed deeply before looking up into Ryuji’s eyes with the biggest puppy dog face he could muster that was most definitely honed for a couple of years to work against his parents 9/10 and asked in the sweetest most innocent voice that he could muster “Can you play tag with us?” At this Ryuji smiled and nodded and the kids cheered loudly. Being the youngest and strongest of the attendees, Ryuji was highly valued among his co-workers as the ‘childrens’ punching bag’ and so kids would often go to Ryuji to play the games that might have otherwise been rejected by the other attendees.

Of course, Ryuji was ‘it’ and these type of tag revolved around a single person being chased then someone chasing a group of people, seemed strange and very different then how Ryuji remembered it, however, since this was a modified version where an adult is involved in the game, he only supposed that it was fair. Ryuji jogged lightly from the group of kids that were chasing him around,heading towards the entrance of the day care Ryuji’s shoelace came loose without him realizing it and he had a not-so-graceful fall right on the stone pathway of the daycare followed by a pile of small bodies just landing on top of him, not caring if he was potentially at risk for having a rib break or two “Ow! You guys! Why?!” Ryuji scolded. He wasn’t hurt that badly, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt a little bit.

Ryuji’s face grew hot , however, when he heard a familiar chuckle some distance away from him. Ryuji brought his eyes up only to see a backlit Akira chucking softly into his hand at the sight in front of him and Ryuji’s cheeks grew warmer and warmer until it reached all the way to his ears. Why did Akira have to be so beautiful while also laughing at the expense of him… it wasn’t fair and it hurt his pride as well as his heart. Ryuji would’ve scrambled up if it wasn’t for the fact he had a few dead weights pining him to the ground at the moment. “ ”Kira!? What ya doing here?!” Ryuji pondered in a panic.

“How do you know this guy, Mr. Sakamoto?” One of the kids asked him and a few of them slid off of his aching body and Ryuji got up enough to have the remaining few get the notion that they should probably get off of the attendees. Ryuji brushed off his apron and his pant leg before answering. “This is my roommate Akira. Akira these are the kiddos.” Ryuji generally gestured to the gremlins that surrounded his feet currently, a few taking refuge behind Ryuji’s pant leg due to not knowing the stranger and being very cautious of him. “But what is he doing here?” a different kid, one that was especially clenching to the back of his leg mumbled.

“I’d like to know that too. So Akira, what brings you here?” Ryuji scratched behind his head and tried to avoid direct eye-contact with him. Ryuji never really let any of his friends see the day-care/paternal side of him. It was embarrassing and he doesn’t really know why, guess it just… made him feel insecure, as if he was waiting for them to make fun of him for not being a distant asshole to kids, like the stereotype goes. Like his dad was…

Akira only gave a gentle smile and held up what would be considered a treasure in Ryuji’s mind at the moment, as his stomach in unison to Ryuji’s eyes seeing the prized wrapped bento box, growled very loudly. This only made everyone laugh at Ryuji again and he wished he had a bigger jacket to hide in. “I guess I was correct in assuming that you haven’t eaten yet?” Akira chuckled, further again hiding his laugh behind his free hand. Ryuji was always charmed by the sight of Akira laughing. It was only in rare instances of pure joy and laughter that Akira would laugh without ever covering up his face. Ryuji wishes he could see it all the time but also wished that he could lock up that expression in his mind forever, making him the only be able to see it. Damn he had it bad for Akira. 

Ryuji shook off his gay panic for a moment and snatched the benot box out of Akira’s hand, still flustered beyond belief. “Thanks, man. But where did you get the time to make this?” Ryuji asked, inquisitively. Akira simply just responded that he had extra free time due to a class being cancelled last minute.

“I figured that since you had a… late start, that you also didn’t have time to make lunch for yourself and that you must’ve been starving. Glad I caught you in time, though.” Ryuji was going to punch himself if Akira didn’t stop being such a perfect and considerate human being. Ryuji scratched the back of his neck, as a habit of being nervous before being apologetic “Sorry man, I didn’t realize that I would’ve messed up this morning.” Akira waved his hand in front of him. “Ryuji, stop apologizing, it’d be one with thing if this happened all the time, but we all have off days and I also had free time. Don’t apologize!” Ryuji REALLY wanted to punch something right now. Mostly himself so he can be unconscious and wouldn’t have to feel his heart tumbling and flipping around in his ribcage. 

“Is he your boyfriend?” a small voice asked from the bottom of Ryuji’s shoes and Ryuji had a knee jerk reaction that could’ve probably punted the small child all the way across a foot-ball field length at the amount of shock and surprise that he felt. If Ryuji’s blush wasn’t clear at this point then there was no way that everyone couldn’t see it within a ten mile radius, he felt like he just ran a 5 mile dash with no breaks in the middle of the summer. 

“Kiddo! Why would you ask that?” Ryuji inquired in a clearly higher pitch then he ever spoken in before with his panic settling in further and further, he couldn’t bear looking at his roommates face to see his reaction, Ryuji was too scared that seeing disgust in Akira’s eyes would break Ryuji’s spirit in a thousand pieces so he kept his eyes focused on the little brat that spoke the sentence that made Ryuji want to fly straight into the sun.

“My sister says that you bring lunch to someone your dating! And since he brought you lunch, then that must mean that you’re dating, right?” the kid reasoned and it irked Ryuji over how much that reasoning did in fact make sense. 

“It’s not limited to people you’re dating, kid!” Ryuji panicked and tried to phrase this the best as possible without shooting himself in the foot. “Akira is just a considerate person! And he had some time and wanted to help out a friend! Haha! Right buddy?” Ryuji still refused to make any eye contact or look in the general direction of his friend. It would be way too painful to try and see the raw reaction to a child’s innocent sentence that would show the true nature of what Ryuji desired from their relationship.

“That’s right.” Akira answered, although Ryuji could’ve sworn that the answer took a bit longer then normal for Akira to respond with. Fuck. Ryuji’s obviousness must’ve shown and Akira must hate him now, right? Right? Ryuji still didn’t want to look at his friend. And just wished that he could be a shadow that was vanquished simply by the sheer blow that the pause had on Ryuji. “Anyways, I’ll see you after class Ryuji.” Ryuji nodded. Confirming that he heard him but still not wanting to look at him. As Akira’s footsteps slowly left Ryuji’s earshot he relaxed a bit and gazed at the silhouetted figure before a high pitch voice chipped in “Are you sure you aren’t dating?” Ryuji’s day was not today, for sure.

The rest of the day sucked less than it did in the morning, but it still left Ryuji exhausted whenever it was time for him to return home. The lunch helped a bunch though, without it Ryuji might’ve considered dropping out and becoming a hitchhiker might’ve been the correct option in his life. He completed his evening class and entered his apartment, not wishing to do anything more than just veg out for the rest of the day, if not his entire life. Upon opening the door to the apartment, Ryuji found comfort in seeing another distressed college student. Still embarrassed by the events earlier that evening Ryuji almost hesitant to take a full step into that space. But he lived here and it wasn’t like he could avoid him. It was something silly and stupid and chances are is that Akira didn’t really think much of the situation.

“Rough day?” Ryuji asks at seeing Akira slumped over on their makeshift ‘closest thing to a couch’ set up with collection of blankets and just sitting in front of the shitty TV mindlessly. In a zombie like state, Akira moved his gaze over to his friend and scanning him over before nodding and exiting partially out of his cocoon to adjust his eye glasses to sit up properly.

“Test made me brain-fried.” Ryuji sweatdropped “I think you mean brain-dead buddy.” Ryuji laughed gently. Despite being one of the smartest humans being Ryuji has ever known, Akira has been known to become quite a dependent baby whenever his college exams whooped his ass out of existence, and Ryuji doesn’t think that the fact that most of his courses revolve around law, help much anyways. “I feel though, bro. I’m beat. Do you wanna pick up some booze?” Ryuji offered.

This shocked Akira slightly, “Are you sure?” he asked due to the fact that Ryuji really doesn’t like alcohol, particularly in consuming it. Reminds him too much of bad shit. Ryuji just nods “I’m not the one who needs it bud, I’ll just be supervising you to make sure you don’t give yourself a hangover beyond cure.” Ryuji joked and Akira was already moving further out of his cocoon. “If you’re okay with it then let’s go. I don’t think anything is gonna help ease my stress.” Akira proved his point further by stretching out his body and his body crackled and popped like a potato bag chip. Wow he must’ve been hella stressed about this test.

They went inside the convenience store and bought a 12 pack. Akira was probably going to save a few for a later date. (I’d like to remind my readers that these characters are 20, and are of age of being able to drink legally in Japan) The reason why Ryuji was fine with Akira drinking was because he was a funny sleepy drunk, a breath of fresh air every time it happened, Ryuji has honestly became quite endeared to the easy to read persona of drunk Akira. After mulling over the other aisles Ryuji picked out a few junk-food items for himself. “Eating like a kid again.” Akira poked fun. “Not like you’re any better.” The two laughed and headed back home after paying for their items.

Their plans to get lit and veg in front of the couch for the rest of the night as delayed, however, in the form of a black, tan, and white shiba inu who has blocked the road to their apartment. “Think it’s lost?” Ryuji asked, as Akira got on one knee only to have the dog very enthusiastically greet him and lick his face, tail wagging endlessly. Of course Akira had the affection of animals… ‘what a dumb thing to be jealous of’ Ryuji thought. “It probably got out of its yard, he doesn’t stink and doesn’t seem to have been outside for long. He is also well fed.” Akira deduced. What the hell were they going to do? They’d probably be in trouble for bothering the neighborhood at night, and the shelters and vets were closed at this point and the dog didn’t have a collar. “What should we do?”

“Let’s take him in for the night.” Akira suggested, his face still being viciously attacked by the dogs never ending affection. “Dude! You know we can’t bring animals into the place!” Akira simply just grabbed the dogs front paws to let it rest on his shoulders and in sync with the dog gave Ryuji the biggest puppy dog eyes he could possibly muster. And of course Ryuji was a giant sucker for it, as it nearly put his weak heart out of commission right then and there. “Okay, fine! But we gotta find it’s owner or something tomorrow!” Ryuji put his foot and Akira nose booped the dog in victory. Why was Ryuji getting so jealous over this, envious of the open affection that the dog was able to give.

The dog seemed to be onboard with whatever plan they had, as he heeled perfectly by Akira’s side even without a leash, keeping pace and didn’t even sniff or wander off. As soon as the two opened the doors to their apartment, the dog entered, and immediately claimed the couch. “Ya know what, that couch is already old and tattered up anyways, he can sleep there.” Ryuji gave up any sort of anger or annoyance that could’ve been made if he wasn’t so tired. Ryuji soon joined the dog on the couch with his plastic bag claying across his body. Akira was in the kitchen to set up a water bowl for the dog, whenever he needed it, and then grabbed a can of beer and joined Ryuji on the couch.

Akira sat directly next to Ryuji, and the dog didn’t seem to think that that was the ideal situation, so he moved himself to lay directly on top of Ryuji in order to rest his head on top of Akira’s lap. “Dude what the heck!” Akira just laughed at the situation and patted the dog on his head. “Isn’t he affectionate, if we didn’t have the no-pets policy I’d honestly just steal him.” Akira joked and Ryuji gave him a glare.

“Dude, you’re honestly just way too much of a perfect human being, it’s almost annoying.” Ryuji lamented, he truly felt envious to some level of how everything came so easily to Akira, but he knew that not everything was as easy as it seemed, but Ryuji was feeling a bit exhausted and short-tempered and he was going to be a little tsundere as he sees fit. Akira just shrugs the praise off “Not perfect enough…” he mumbled very quietly. WHAT THE HELL DID THAT MEAN?! Ryuji’s mind screamed but he was honeslty too dumb founded and crushed the weight of the dog to really say or do much. So I guess this was how he was spending his night.

The boys watched 2 movies and Akira had a few more beers, quick enough to make the effects of alcohol start to affect his mood and cognition. It was time for cute Akira hours and Ryuji didn’t know if he could handle it. The movie was forgone and Akira was just absolutely enamored with the dog, who was still plastered across Ryuji’s lap. He kept on using almost baby language and praise whenever he looked at the dog and the dog was just gobbling the affection up, and his tail wagged furiously against Ryuji’s face. Yea, there was no way he could enjoy the movie now.

Ryuji would be lying if he said that he wasn’t enjoying this at all. Akira was always fun to just simply observe whenever he was drunk, it was such a difference from what he was used. Ryuji would always refused alcohol, however, he didn’t want to risk reacting to it like his dad did. Better safe than sorry. The giggly drunk Akira paired with the comforting weight of the dog across his lap, started to make Ryuji ease into a chill mode. “You’re so cute…” Ryuji mumbled very quietly, Akira’s memory was a bit foggy whenever he drank, so Ryuji typically got more bold with his psuedo-flirting whenever Akira was intoxicated. 

Akira seemed to blink slowly whenever Ryuji spoke though, and Ryuji’s heart slumped out of his chest ‘Oh shit’ maybe he wasn’t as intoxicated as he once thought. Akira beamed at him “You’re also amazing, Ryuji!” Ryuji was thrown off at the random praise “You don’t give yourself enough credit! If you don’t start looking at yourself more positively I’m gonna slap you silly.” Akira emphazed this by putting his hand on either cheek on Ryuji’s ever inflamed face. Oh he was really drunk, oh fuck.

“ ‘Kira! A bit close there bud.” Ryuji held his hands in front of him, his mind and his brain was in thirty thousand different places at the moment, and none of them knew how to properly handle the situation that he was currently in. “Do you mind it?” Akira slightly slurred his words but he still was looking Ryuji in the eye. Ryuji couldn’t bring himself to trust his voice so he just shook his head and relished the warm feeling of Akira’s hands on his face. Damn he was too perfect and his heart was going to explode if this continued. 

“Don’t you want to go-” Ryuji was interrupted by Akira continuing his praise all of the sudden “You’re also perfect you know!” was Akira trying to murder him, for fucks sake this was a lot and really out of nowhere. “You’re so great with kids! I’m so proud of you! You have no idea!” Akira continued and kept on getting closer and closer to Ryuji face and squishing his cheeks at every sentence. Ryuji felt like he could cry, this was not only hurting the part of his heart that longed for Akira… but it was hurting the part that wanted to be recognized for his ability. Ryuji stopped putting up a fight and simply let his hands rest on Akira’s shoulders and Akira seemed to loom closer and closer to Ryuji’s face.

“You’re always there for me, Ryuji. I really want to keep on living with you like this.” Ryuji blinked… could Akira feel the same way about him? Or did he simply exclaim this along with his already slung drunk praises. Ryuji wanted to disappear and he couldn’t do much. He was paralyzed both by a physical and metaphorical weight. “You won’t leave me. You mean so much to me, Ryuji.” Akira muttered.  
And then as quick as it was painful, Akira nestled his lips gently over Ryuji for a split second before descending into slumber on top of Ryuji’s lap nudged between the dog. That happened so quickly that Ryuji’s mind was still processing what the hell just happened. It was like his brain was buffering and his heart becomes a whirlwind of different emotions and Ryuji didn’t know what the hell to do with that. Soon he processed it and brought his fingers to his lips. It was so soft… but so quick. Ryuji was so caught off guard he couldn’t truly analyze the situation.

He honestly was so overwhelmed that the feeling you get when you need to vomit rushed him, but he couldn’t. He just… was blank and overwhelmed with emotion and 80 different types of anxiety all at once. He settled for looking at Akira’s sleeping face and pondered what the hell was to come next. Before Ryuji eventually let exhausted take over his body as well.


End file.
